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Growing up, I was no stranger to trouble.
Constant rebellion and academic struggles defined my childhood years. Being a loud-mouthed kid didn’t help either; it made me an easy target for the notorious seniors during my lower secondary years. This marked the beginning of a tumultuous journey.
Studies was never my strength, and I sought validation outside of it. In Secondary 3, I found myself entangled with the wrong crowd in my neighbourhood, getting into fights, alcohol, tattoos, and gang affiliations.
Being in gangs gave me opportunities to “solve” other members’ issues and feel “recognised”. It gave me a false sense of importance and progress — something that I couldn’t get in school.
By Secondary 4, I was studying at home due to school policies against tattoos, and facing the threat of expulsion.
Deep down, I felt that I had something to prove so I did put a lot of effort into studying, even asking my then-classmates for notes I could borrow.
Against the odds, I ended up passing my N-Levels and was eligible to progress to Sec 5, but I instead decided to apply for the Institute of Technical Education (ITE).
Despite making it to ITE, my association with gangs continued, leading me to juvenile lock-up not once but twice, for illegal assembly and assault. Luck was on my side, as being underage spared me from getting a criminal record.
Getting expelled from ITE, however, was a wake-up call.
I was just six months away from graduation. The police came looking for me after a rioting incident; I wasn’t at home at the time.
Later, during the taxi ride to the station, my parents just kept quiet. They didn’t say anything, even when we reached the station.
Before the police took me into lock-up, my mum broke down in tears and hugged me. She told me not to be scared, and that everything was going to be okay. She didn’t blame me at all.
That broke my heart.
I spent the night in the station thinking hard.
How lucky I was to have parents that loved me unconditionally, even though I’d screwed up multiple times. At the end of the day, I realised, only family stands unwavering at your lowest. They’re the only thing that truly matters.
This pivotal moment prompted a journey of self-discovery and transformation.
I turned to self-help books, and worked hard to adopt healthier habits like eating better, working out, journalling and meditation.
I gradually broke ties with old friends. I did my National Service while concurrently pursuing a private diploma in business administration, followed by a degree in business management.
It wasn’t an easy process: I lost my sense of identity, my friends and my direction in life. It was a long, difficult road of change, one that I had to take one step at a time.
There were moments along the way when the allure of my old ways tempted me. It was especially difficult during the initial phase.
Sometimes it was boredom, when old friends asked me out to drink. Other times, I felt overwhelmed by the difficulties and stresses of day-to-day life.
But my new self-help routine kept me grounded, and my family provided the constant support I needed to stay on track.
I even crafted a vision board for myself, setting out a timeline and milestones for things I want to accomplish during my lifetime. This helped to make things clear and distinct, instead of existing only as ideas in my head.
During this time, I realised the potential to use my influence for a positive cause. Instead of recruiting people to gangs or influencing them in a bad way, I could channel my energy towards building something meaningful.
Venturing into entrepreneurship, I started my own cooked fishball noodle stall — an expansion of my family’s wet market fishball business — as well as a self-photo studio.
Though these endeavours didn’t unfold as planned, they helped me to realise my passion for business, and laid the foundation for building our family business brand.
I am now a full-time regional salesperson selling copier supplies throughout Southeast Asia. I’m still with my family’s fishball noodle business, building our brand and creating social media content. I have also implemented preorders, and launched our very first website.
I also helped to improve operations efficiency by outsourcing mundane tasks such as the chopping of yellowtail fish meat to our supplier.
Under my charge, our social media following grew to over 10,000 on Instagram and Facebook, and over 5,000 on TikTok. Some of my content also went viral, helping us to get noticed by a few news channels and further boosting sales.
Now, as I reflect on my journey, I am extremely thankful for the second chance and opportunities that I have received.
I realised that the adversities I experienced weren’t just stumbling blocks in my way. Instead, they have moulded me into a stronger person who appreciates the simple yet crucial aspects of life — family and health.
Early failures in school and life inoculated me against the fear of failing, allowing me to block out external opinions and judgments. This is extremely helpful now, enabling me to fully focus on doing what I want and like to do, instead of what other people or society wants or think is “cool” or “good”.
Not being afraid of failure or judgment also gives me the courage to take more risks and experiment with my ideas and interests.
Had I been a straight-A student, the depths of my character — resilience, self-determination, and more — might never have surfaced.
The many rejections and failures of my youth became the catalysts for discovering my true passion for sales and business. The teenage me would have never imagined myself doing what I am doing now.
Currently, my focus lies in continuous self-improvement and cultivating meaningful connections. For me, building our family business brand isn’t about fame or fortune, but a journey of consistent improvement and progress — it’s about the person I am becoming each day.
Entrepreneurship and sales, to me, are forms of self-cultivation, measured by the rate of growth and change.
The pressure never eases and the challenges never end, but the fulfilment derived from overcoming these fuels my desire to evolve and grow as a person — the ultimate high that I continue to chase.
Life will always be unpredictable. I’ve learned that it’s better to see adversity not as a hindrance, but to embrace it as a catalyst for positive change and growth.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Delonix Tan Wei Jie, 26, is a third-generation fishball maker and social media content creator for his family business, SanDai Fishball. He strives to finish each day just a tiny bit better than the person he was in the morning.